One year ago yesterday, my brother Matthew Scott opted out of life. On that day, the world as I knew it changed forever. I have spent the last year assessing, regrouping and redefining my path. I am grateful to my brother for a reminder that to live or to die really is a choice that one must make. It is our responsibility once we’ve chosen to live, to actually get up every day and LIVE the life that’s out there. One of my favorite lines from Shawshank Redemption is ‘Get busy living or get busy dying’. Life is what happens to and around you every day while you’re waiting for your real life to begin.
Matt gave me a gift by taking my fear of living my life with him when he died. For the first time in years, I feel like me again…like the me I had established in college as an art student at UC Irvine. I’m embracing my art, my fitness, my family and my friends with reckless abandon, and can honestly say, aside from Matt’s absence, this has been the best year of my adult life. Matt spent so much time looking back that he lost his ability to look forward.
I am looking forward to 2010. I am eager to commit to more juried exhibitions, cooking contests, volunteer work and family expeditions as we hike and camp throughout Western Washington. I challenge everyone to not set ‘resolutions’ as they tend to feel like punishment and are destined to fail. Instead, make a list of goals, from something as small as sorting your sock drawer to something as big as completing a century bike ride, and start working your way through your list for the year. I’m starting to write mine now, but it’s not a new list…it’s a continuation of one I’ve been working through this year. I add to it regularly, since I’ve discovered there’s still so much I’d like to do in this life time. It’s good to see it on paper. It feels that much more do-able having it on my list.
A link to Matt’s slideshow is below for those who would like some insight into the blessing that he was in our lives, and why we so feel his absence.